she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
