drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
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After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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