I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
