Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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