That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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