oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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