so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
