there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
