Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
