those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize