Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
