He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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