while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
