i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Are my feet made of real feet?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize