Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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