She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
