I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
