she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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