She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
