doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
