Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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