dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
