My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
