Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
