It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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