He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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