i just wanna soil my oats bro
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
