I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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