accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
