I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
