You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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