It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
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My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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