ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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