this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
