I'm eating all of the evidence.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize