The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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