Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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