the condom got lost in my hair
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Less talking, more tequila
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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