Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
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I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
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you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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