Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
