doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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