covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
