I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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