my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
