No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
