he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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