He is an equal opportunity slut.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
