So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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