i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize