Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
