You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
