Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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