you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Randomize
