I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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