After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Floor bacon is actually really good
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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