My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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