Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(478): View more from Georgia

So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis

(410): View more from Maryland

Sounds like a really classy character....

(478): View more from Georgia

He is classy. It was argyle.

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(478): So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis (410): Sounds like a really classy character.... (478): He is classy. It was argyle. http://tfl.nu/j1fr

Replies (18) Good night (6669) Bad night (739)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So for us it's double that?

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Precisely.

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(570): Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime. (717): So for us it's double that? (570): Precisely. http://tfl.nu/p9hg

Replies (33) Good night (5087) Bad night (780)
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(616): View more from Michigan

margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.

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(616): margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label. http://tfl.nu/4zf6

Replies (10) Good night (1000) Bad night (4262)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.

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(612): no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship. http://tfl.nu/tdmr

Replies (37) Good night (7719) Bad night (1311)
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(312): View more from Illinois

dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.

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(312): dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it. http://tfl.nu/1896

Replies (22) Good night (984) Bad night (8372)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle

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(860): i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle http://tfl.nu/gxwa

Replies (24) Good night (1471) Bad night (5634)
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(703): View more from Virginia

i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me

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(703): i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me http://tfl.nu/57r1

Replies (1) Good night (2094) Bad night (885)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.

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(703): I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes. http://tfl.nu/i5s6

Replies (6) Good night (1032) Bad night (4903)
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(254): View more from Texas

Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.

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(254): Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital. http://tfl.nu/9aes

Replies (3) Good night (2757) Bad night (929)
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(512): View more from Texas

It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.

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(512): It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad. http://tfl.nu/27g7

Replies (24) Good night (847) Bad night (6336)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.

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(262): I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old. http://tfl.nu/6kgo

Replies (8) Good night (3797) Bad night (1250)
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(516): View more from New York

This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.

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(516): This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me. http://tfl.nu/6e09

Replies (8) Good night (3016) Bad night (813)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.

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(815): Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants. http://tfl.nu/z0pn

Replies (4) Good night (1803) Bad night (970)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.

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(202): I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever. http://tfl.nu/g05z

Replies (0) Good night (762) Bad night (254)
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(714): View more from California

I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation

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(714): I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation http://tfl.nu/yqvf

Replies (1) Good night (884) Bad night (282)

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