Texts From Last Night

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  (209): View more from California

  Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?

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  (209): Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese? http://tfl.nu/1zro
  Replies (53) Good night (3582) Bad night (785)
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  (585): View more from New York

  we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.

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  (585): we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things. http://tfl.nu/92xs
  Replies (43) Good night (3368) Bad night (816)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.

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  (978): you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant. http://tfl.nu/88h4
  Replies (18) Good night (4377) Bad night (1099)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh

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  (651): i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh http://tfl.nu/x346
  Replies (29) Good night (10495) Bad night (1229)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.

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  (570): I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy. http://tfl.nu/0avy
  Replies (34) Good night (2830) Bad night (1660)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.

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  (248): So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/x1ov
  Replies (11) Good night (1051) Bad night (5603)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.

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  (614): Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel. http://tfl.nu/hpfu
  Replies (6) Good night (2364) Bad night (668)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over

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  (908): You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over http://tfl.nu/or3u
  Replies (2) Good night (2439) Bad night (690)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you

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  (304): He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you http://tfl.nu/r4en
  Replies (2) Good night (491) Bad night (1122)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.

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  (616): this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it. http://tfl.nu/xeu6
  Replies (4) Good night (1026) Bad night (386)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.

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  (616): I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once. http://tfl.nu/2lkb
  Replies (6) Good night (624) Bad night (315)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard

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  (416): You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard http://tfl.nu/zjmt
  Replies (3) Good night (783) Bad night (415)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL

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  (618): ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL http://tfl.nu/3dit
  Replies (3) Good night (744) Bad night (405)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo

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  (952): My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/hnma
  Replies (0) Good night (477) Bad night (264)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes

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  (540): I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes http://tfl.nu/fbfz
  Replies (1) Good night (369) Bad night (209)

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