Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords

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  (734): she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords http://tfl.nu/o43m
  Replies (2) Good night (1483) Bad night (697)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.

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  (720): Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown (303): I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself. http://tfl.nu/zmkv
  Replies (44) Good night (8746) Bad night (1176)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.

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  (404): she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating. http://tfl.nu/jrr4
  Replies (34) Good night (5945) Bad night (791)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina

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  (832): it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina http://tfl.nu/a6qo
  Replies (11) Good night (1379) Bad night (4770)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.

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  (847): Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do. http://tfl.nu/qkwv
  Replies (16) Good night (1037) Bad night (3782)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos

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  (908): ...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos http://tfl.nu/7o3l
  Replies (58) Good night (1628) Bad night (2999)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.

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  (631): Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions. http://tfl.nu/8mk0
  Replies (10) Good night (1681) Bad night (695)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Her idea of kinky involved a tazer

  (850): View more from Florida

  wtf?

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm going back tonight

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  (270): Her idea of kinky involved a tazer (850): wtf? (270): I'm going back tonight http://tfl.nu/a9kb
  Replies (15) Good night (2891) Bad night (870)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.

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  (940): Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected. http://tfl.nu/ylps
  Replies (4) Good night (1181) Bad night (750)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.

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  (503): My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies. http://tfl.nu/5aky
  Replies (5) Good night (526) Bad night (1205)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning

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  (859): I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning http://tfl.nu/m43n
  Replies (9) Good night (761) Bad night (2135)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front

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  (440): New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front http://tfl.nu/k7td
  Replies (2) Good night (542) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?

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  (843): Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me? http://tfl.nu/xg65
  Replies (1) Good night (604) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.

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  (626): Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan. http://tfl.nu/e06m
  Replies (0) Good night (436) Bad night (353)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it

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  (724): Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it http://tfl.nu/aom3
  Replies (2) Good night (222) Bad night (513)

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