Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.

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  (515): This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot. http://tfl.nu/nttq
  Replies (8) Good night (2561) Bad night (524)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i always forget guys have bellybuttons

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  (717): i always forget guys have bellybuttons http://tfl.nu/yqdn
  Replies (84) Good night (3597) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.

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  (260): I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/i41h
  Replies (28) Good night (3778) Bad night (5613)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.

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  (832): Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank. http://tfl.nu/gxu8
  Replies (10) Good night (5136) Bad night (1086)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.

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  (+44): I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk. http://tfl.nu/9idz
  Replies (22) Good night (2995) Bad night (1078)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?

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  (615): If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen? http://tfl.nu/ze7l
  Replies (9) Good night (4498) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.

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  (570): martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/krux
  Replies (13) Good night (3166) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.

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  (913): The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up. http://tfl.nu/odda
  Replies (5) Good night (4249) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.

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  (515): She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped. http://tfl.nu/qksr
  Replies (6) Good night (4241) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.

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  (940): Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line. http://tfl.nu/5wo4
  Replies (5) Good night (813) Bad night (1704)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.

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  (651): My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex. http://tfl.nu/dfh2
  Replies (14) Good night (1611) Bad night (468)
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  (88): View more from

  Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!

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  (88): Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE! http://tfl.nu/c8a6
  Replies (3) Good night (702) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Welcome to college.

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  (402): Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest. (712): Welcome to college. http://tfl.nu/tyv4
  Replies (9) Good night (1859) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.

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  (407): Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship. http://tfl.nu/8uzj
  Replies (5) Good night (787) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?

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  (307): Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today? http://tfl.nu/jvqk
  Replies (1) Good night (347) Bad night (190)

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