would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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