Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
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I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
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Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay