great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
