He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
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Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
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She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.