I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick