A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
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So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
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He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.