She said her name was "party"
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
