First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
