i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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