"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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