brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Say something about gay babies.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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